It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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