do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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