I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
