mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize