onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
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I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
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So I just went to clothing optional bar
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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