WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
