Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
