he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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