forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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