i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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