If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize