in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
there is glitter all over my balls
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