You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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