I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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