umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
