Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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