Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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