I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
well most of my day revolves around power hour
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
