I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
