Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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