dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
