Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize