Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
