Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
