She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize