I didn't shave. On purpose
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
