Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
