So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
