A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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