When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
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Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
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I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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