I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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