ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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