It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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