she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She even gives head with a lisp.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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