I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
ugly people sure do ruin things
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
