Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
