just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
