I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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