It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
