its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
