My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
the raccoons are back...
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