U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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