Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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