White coat. Heels.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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