You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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