Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
