just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
