she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
