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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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