I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
