I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize