my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
