Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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