I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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