O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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