is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
