It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
