Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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