I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
